Emotionally Drained

Just a fun picture on matt and I.

Since this is more or less my journal, you get to read a lot of the things that are very close to me heart, and right now it hurts a little. Its still healing over the various happenings in our family as well as my losing my father figure. I need to write down a dream I had this morning right before I woke up. I dreampt we were all over at our house and had just finished having dinner and everyone was leaving. As I was saying goodbye my granddad came and gave me a hug and and as he was hugging and talking to me I became aware how strange it was because he was gone. I obviously started crying in this dream and not wanting to let go... I made him hold my face in his hands before he finally was gone. It was so vivid that I felt it could have almost been real and the only reason I know it was a dream was because the things we were talking about were completely random and made NO sense what so ever. At any rate, I keep visualizing my precious dream... and thinking that in a sense I am very lucky, kind of like I got to get one last hug, even though I didn't... does that make any sense?? But it does make me sad at the same time because I have to wait so long to see him again and actually be in his arms, and hear his voice, so today has been rough. I have said this before and I will continue to say it, I don't know how people who aren't blessed the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and life before and after death even begin to go through something like the loss of a loved one. I am still in the process of scanning all of the old family photos so we have digital copies and going through them has been fun, reading letters exchanged between my grandmother and grandad, but also very emotionally draining.

Drama has reared its ugly head at work and with all that has been going on in my personal life it is just about the last thing I want to deal with. Part of the problem is most of us at work are together so often and are such good friends outside of work that when we are tired we tend to get angry with each other more easily. Also, we have a few people working that are just so young and haven't been in the business let alone in the work force very long that they just don't get it. The "issues" they have had are just so juvenile that if they don't learn to get over it, they are going to have some serious issues at any job they take. Its just so frustrating and irritating. I have learned from my work experience that the only person you can change is yourself and that you are never going to agree with every single decision your superiors make. Life is too short to take all of this to seriously. If you let the small things weigh you down then you are going to bear such a burden through your life, its just not worth it.

On to a lighter topic, we had the broadway tour of ANNIE and it was actually really quite pleasant. Its always hit or miss as to how a show with kids and animals and even worse, stage parents, is going to be. The kids were pretty well behaved , the cast was a very talented group who were not only great actors but very nice people. Good experience all around.

The weather here has NO freakin idea what it wants to do,two weeks ago it snowed... a week and a half ago we had a gorgeous weekend of 70-80 degree weather... this week it as tried its darndest to snow!!! We had a few flurries here and there and the 40 degree weather that came with it.... so frustrating when we want to start our garden and plant new plants, worrying whether it is going to freeze all my plants!!! :(
This weekend brings the ballet again that I am helping costume. It will be the last Ballet Idaho and Eugene Ballet performance and we will miss some of the great people who will not be returning next year. On the other hand.... so long LLOYD!!!!!! (I am awful, I know)