Thursday, November 19, 2009

Walking with Faith and Courage

We are living in trying times. The past few months especially, Matt and I have been bombarded with trial after trial. We walk two steps forward, then get pushed 3 steps back. One thing after another. We have opened our home to many a friend in need, given of ourselves beyond our means, only to be for lack of a better word, betrayed, as well as hurt by some of those we have cared for. In addition, we have had to watch as friends have lost their parents unexpectedly, gotten divorced, lost jobs, or forced to take pay cuts and lose insurance benefits, ourselves included. Many people are angry with the government, politics, and at God. The way we cope with these feelings is what defines us. My husband is more inclined to vocalize his feelings than I am in situations such as these. I have learned the hard way, that when I open my mouth when I am angry, I often find myself apologizing later. My family consists of two types of people, outspoken and tough, and quiet and meek. While I am usually fall in the first category, I am teaching myself to live somewhere in the middle, to walk with faith and courage and meekness.

"Some people mistakenly think responses such as silence, meekness, forgiveness, and bearing humble testimony are passive or weak. But to 'love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us], and persecute [us]' (Matthew 5:44) takes faith, strength, and, most of all, Christian courage. . . .

"When we do not retaliate—when we turn the other cheek and resist feelings of anger—we too stand with the Savior. We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage."

Robert D. Hales


When it comes to feelings of betrayal and hurt, I internalize my feelings. I feel sorry for myself, pick myself up, dust myself off, and reach for the one thing that will NEVER leave me. That is my faith. My faith is what defines me. I am lucky. I know who I am, and I know where I come from. I may not know exactly where I am going here on earth, but I know my final destination. I have an incredible heritage. In a world where some people don't know the names of their grandparents, I have pictures, and records, documents, stories and journals going back seven and eight generations.


One of those journals is of a woman named Sarah Sturtevant Leavitt. She is my 6th great grandmother. She was the epitome of a strong woman. She knew the church was true, and started the journey west before being baptised. Along the way they encountered sickness, the death of a prophet and many other members, she lost her husband, three of her children, and most of her money and personal things. And still, she forged ahead. Her daughters went on to marry Jacob Hamblin and his brother William. Here is a small portion of her journals during the time the prophet Joseph Smith was killed.

"Oh, the sorrow and trouble that was just at our doors! We knew they had Joseph in prison and threatened to take his life, but that was nothing new nor strange, for his enemies always did that, but we did not believe they could have power to murder him; and he lived above the law. The law could have no power over him, but powder and balls could, so they shot him in Carthage jail. When the news came the whole city of Nauvoo was thunderstruck; such mourning and lamentation was seldom ever heard on the earth. There was many, myself among them, that would gladly have died if his life could have been spared by doing so. I never had spoken to the man in my life, but I had seen him and heard him preach and know that he was a prophet of God, sent here by the Almighty to set up His kingdom, no more to be thrown down, and now how was that great and important work to be accomplished? Brigham Young was the man clothed with all the power and authority of Joseph. My husband said that he had the same spirit, the same voice, and if he had not known Joseph was dead he would actually have thought it was Joseph. Brigham was gone to the east when Joseph was killed. Rigdon tried hard to lead the church and get established in that place before Brother Brigham got to Nauvoo, but his deceit and lies were proved as the twelve returned about this time.
We went to the city and was there when the bodies of the martyred prophets were brought into the city. It was after dark that they passed the house - it was Brother Snow's, a Doctor Clinton and his wife Melissa were there and they expected the mob would come into the city that night to kill the rest of the saints. There was orders for every man to arm himself and prepare to defend the city. The moon shone uncommonly bright, as we could see quite a distance.
They had guards out in every direction; they had a drum that could be heard a number of miles and when there was any danger they would beat that drum, and every one that was able would take what ever weapon they could get and run to the city and guard it. We lived three miles from the city and I don't know how many nights we left the place when the alarm drum was beaten. All of our men would run to the place appointed, but we had to move to the Mound, seven miles from there. We did so, but the guard had to be kept up at the Mound, for we had enemies on every side, all threatening to exterminate the Mormons. But I for one did not fear them, for I knew that we were in the hands of God and He would make the wrath of man praise Him and turn all their threats for the good of His saints, and it was so, for the Lord wanted His people to get up onto these mountains and raise an ensign that the scriptures might be fulfilled. But he saw that they would no go willingly, so He suffered their enemies to drive them.The enemy would ravage, steal and plunder and murder and no power in the United States to stop them! The Mormons could get no help because they believed the Gospel was restored to earth by an angel. The priests knew that if that doctrine prevailed there was no chance for them, and as the ax struck at the root of every denomination, they all joined together to help destroy the work of God. There were many ministers of different denominations that took the lead of mobs and were determined to put a stop to Mormonism. But it has increased the more they have opposed it and will continue to increase until the knowledge of God covers the earth, for all their burning buildings and killing the brethren. But there was no fear in my heart, for I knew we were in the hands of God, and He would do all things right."
-Sarah Sturtevant Leavitt


When I think that I have it rough, this is who I think about. My trials are very small in comparison to hers. She walked with faith in her every step. Here are a few more small excerpts from her journal that are now on plaques around a statue of her in St. George.








2 comments:

Holly said...

So beautiful and encouraging! It's times like these in all of lives where we can look to those that came before us and know if they can endure, so can we! Thanks for posting this!!!

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